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This deviation was deleted

I'm reading this

and it's quite a miss

it's so bland

it's not grand

stay away

or you'll pay

A quite witty remark to your poem. Now I get that it's empowering to be gay, there's nothing wrong with that...but the delivery of this poem is something I haven't seen in a while... It's so simplistic, it's not even a joy to read. The lines of this poem are bland, and there's no connection between these lines, like "so you won't need protection, let us agree, that all should brothers be" What does that even mean. Now I get that everybody has their own writing styles, and this may be one with which you choose to pursue, but if this is the kind of writing you choose, try fine tuning your story, add some personal touches, your experiences of what it's like to be gay. A good poem is one that can both move you and entertain you.

It hurts to say that this poem, won't be receiving a good review from this person, but I hope you take the critiques from people and adapt them to future works.
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